pissed off..taking dese emotional juggernauts

for past few months...al my earnest efforts wr put into a single pursuit...to js feel buoyant.i kno...how long it took me to read btw d lines of a happy n contented life...n figure out d least i cud squeeze out for myself.it has been long,i hv been faking myself dat...ds feeling is such a meagre lump i want for myself...n can certainly hav ds vd a little more patience from my part.

2de my heart is plagued whem m concluding...d lump is beyond a price i can afford.firm after so much of sulking...to relinquish ds desire of mine.

an event....so exacerbating...was it needed for ds realisation to come up???mayb yes.to curb a desire...so strong...d might needed obviously comes from no less dan such awful events.

trying to say...ds is it...n let it go by.tryin to adapt to feeling heavy...radr accept life d way way it is meant for me...instead of fighting to turn it around d way i want it for myself...so dat...dr is no mirror left to get shattered...evry now n den.but certainly heart gets crumbled...at d very thot of the silly things which leave my life devastated.and to my dismay...i m helpless.

the adorable benevolence

ppl hu say...dat de want to close deir eyes sooner...js to remain assurd dat 'al is wel' on earth js b4 his/her heavenly(may call hellish as wel) board...are not gr8 to hav such gr8 thoughts...as i ws mistakn myself.The real gutz and courage surfaces...or odr way round d real greatnes surfaces ...when once eyes can bear the sight of som loved one's closin eyes.its often easy to take a sigh n say "lif movs on". god forbid ne1 experiences it...bt only d ones movin can tel u...wat it takes to mov lif on.

all i sed wud hv nevr cm up so clear in my mind...unles i had met ds lady...in way so different from al my previous encountrs.a lady of divine
stature...strong conviction and immense love in her heart can only stride fearles...all alone...in d maze of human relations ...instead of choosin the path
of seekin eternal peace in d servic of d god,she unfailingly bows her head b4...every single day.Simply sm1 hu is livin n breathin for odrs.

strange enuf is d odr sid of d story...its awful to see ppl unable to feel the shakened trail of her commanding voice,d immense grief burried down ...undr d huge pile of worry for odrs welbeing,d selfless caretaker and wel wisher behind d strict disciplinarian,d tears of happines rollin down while thanking god at arrival of evry piece of gud news...b it big or small.instaed of inculcatin the qualities nided to lead a life vd dignity...her strugle to preserv her self respect ...its really disgusting to see ppl busy critising her being scornful.

This is wat is the irony of lif...which cud hv been so easy to live odrwis.leav such naiv narrow-minded ppl apart...atleast i feel myself fortunate enuf to hav kept myself abov these shallow thinkins...to hav been able to feel the positiv aura around ds wondrful lady...to cary al d respect in my heart dat she deservs...to hav been abl to reciprocate to som extent... d invaluabl love she has offrd.

ppl say ...its tough to find 'nic ppl' around,i say...one nids to b genuinly NICE to b abl to see such 'nic ppl' hu r alwaz around in abundanc :)